This state is sometimes called the fictional daydream or, in German, Kopfkino, literally “cinema in the head”.
The challenge for the writer is writing five words that will ‘hook’ or immerse the reader in the story. Then keeping the reader immersed. Entire books have been written on how to do this and “Deep Point of View” so I won’t try to cover all of that here. Your editor will work with you to assist you in this.
Overuse of adverbs (-ly words) is common among new and inexperienced writers. See the example below for ways to replace them with strong verbs. Using strong verbs instead of adverbs also assists in “showing” rather than “telling”.
“She’s definitely mine,” said Big Red aggressively.
“Admittedly, she had lunch with you in the same patch of orchard, but she recently told me it’s me she wants,” said Big Grey, raising his paws threateningly, lashing quickly at the larger kangaroo. “Can you pair find somewhere else to strongly contest the lovely lady elsewhere,” asked Little Red tiredly. “We’re trying to nap here. You pair going at it noisily is interfering with my sleep.”
“She’s belongs to me.” Big Red growled, planted his tail, and raised his paws. “Yes. You ate lunch in the same patch of orchard. But, she sleeps with me. She wants me.” Big Grey, thrusts with his claws, slashing the larger roo’s chest. “Come off it you two… find somewhere else to fight for the bitch,” Little Red yawned. “We’re trying to nap. Your brawling is interfering with my sleep.”
Don’t you just love this advice? Having problems with your writing? Do whatever it takes to fall back in love with your story. Put your heart and soul into it. There’s nothing like it.
That’s why it’s so hard to cut into the story you love so much. It truly is like killing your darlings as William Faulkner advised. Editing requires a different mindset. Rather than your heart, your head and your intellect must be in charge.
Editing fiction is a labour of love. It is an honour to be trusted with client’s literary babies. I love to dig my fingers in and tease out the story strands, look for ways to help an author smooth them over, improve the reader experience.
I’m proud of my little shelf of books which I had my hands on, my fingers in, for just a little while.