How can you write ‘words like X-rays’? Readers like to live the emotion of the story. How do you show the emotion so the reader is pierced? Feel the emotion yourself and it will shine through in your writing.
Keep some kind of conflict in each scene, Put yourself in the part of the character, act out the part, sink deep into the role and draw that emotion onto the page and show, don’t tell. How you ask? It’s easy to tell. Just tell it like it is.
I was angry. Furious. How dare she call my beautiful little girl a fat pig? She’s a gorgeous six-year-old without body image problems. Did the woman, who does have an eating disorder herself, not care about the damage she might cause?
Yes, as a reader you may be enraged by the situation. However, did you feel the rage in your body? How might that feel? What do you think about something like this:
My hand fisted at my side, ready to punch the mouth that said such a cruel thing to my beautiful daughter. A red tide of rage rose across my chest, up my throat across my cheeks and wavered before my eyes. I ground my teeth in an effort to hold my tongue, to stop myself giving her a piece of my mind before I took time to think through my response.
‘May I please speak with you privately?’ The softest voice I could muster shook as I restrained myself from adding a curse word or five in front of the children.
Zoetic Words 